Sex is supposed to feel good, not painful. But some medical conditions can cause a man to develop a sore penis, and when that happens, sex could turn into something that results in more pain than pleasure. That pain could keep men away from sex.But sex is a vital part of an adult relationship. It draws couples together, and it helps them to stay connected on an emotional level. As a result, it’s not that uncommon for men to push through the pain in order to have sex. That activity helps keep the relationship alive. But men who push through the pain could be making a bad decision. In fact, continuing with sex could lead to the need for long-term penis care to deal with accumulated injury.Why Abstinence is BestDoctors often advise abstinence for men with sore penis issues. That’s because men who ignore pain tend to do the kind of damage that leads to even more misery.For example, some men develop soreness in response to an external trigger, like an allergy. They might find that the spermicides used in a condom make their tissues red and sore in the days that follow sex. Each time they have sex, the soreness gets worse. Allowing the tissues to heal before being intimate could be the key to a healthier member.Some men get sore after sex because they’re plunging into partners that aren’t quite ready to get down. The sex these men have is tight and dry and painful, and it results in penile tissues that are traumatized and sore. If these men have sex again soon, they could cause little tears in the skin that are slow to heal. Or they could even get blisters that burst with all the friction.Clearly, continuing to have sex with a sore penis just isn’t smart. Each thrust a man makes could be hard on the delicate tool, and the damage done with subsequent sex could make the original injury worse. That’s why rest is vital in the aftermath of lap pain, and it’s why experts prescribe abstinence.What to Try InsteadRather than pushing through the pain, men with soreness should take the time to really help their bodies heal. Applying cold treatments can be a great place to start. Cold packs help to slow down the flow of blood to the inflamed area, and that means redness and soreness can fade away with each moment spent cooling the region.Men who don’t have ice packs at home can use simple household items for their treatments, such as:- Frozen peas- Washcloths dipped in ice water- Bottles filled with refrigerated water- Underwear stored in the freezer for a moment or twoMen should never apply something frozen directly to the equipment; wrapping these items in a towel or using something less cold is advised.In addition to applying cold treatments, men should look for ways to dress for pain reduction. Men with rashes and redness might appreciate clothes made of cotton, as this kind of fabric wicks away moisture. Since itching thrives in humid conditions, keeping things dry can lead to real relief.Men with soreness due to sex might find that wearing supportive undergarments is helpful. These clothes reduce the amount of swinging and hanging, so sore tissues are less likely to crash around as a man walks.A penis health cream (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) can also be a vital tool for men with ongoing pain. These products provide sore tissues with a unique recipe of vitamins and emollients that can speed healing, and regular application can also make skin stronger, so it’ll be less likely to get sore in the future. For men with pain, those treatments should start as soon as possible.
Over three years ago, I marveled at the report of a post abortion organization, which said 1.5million youths and teenagers inclusive go for an abortion yearly. If pre-marital sex were being presented before our teenagers and youths as being normal, why would they want to abort a pregnancy? What makes you think that sex is right and acceptable before marriage and on the other hand pregnancy is absurd and unacceptable before marriage?This deception makes most teens to feel that premarital sex is normal and pregnancy outside the context of marriage is abnormal. How do you plant a seed and feel disgusted at the fruit? Sex could be for fun; however, it is for consummation, recreation, and procreation in marriage. As you get into secondary school, you will begin to experience changes in your body as well as pressure from your peers. You will come across friends who would tell you that you are old fashion if you are not having sex.You would notice the opposite sex all around you as soon as you reach puberty. Some would come with sweet words like honeycomb, some with gifts, and others with promises. Tell them you are not ready for games- tell them you do not need a sexual relationship now. Let them know that you would get into the right and moral relationship when you are matured and ready for marriage.The moral decadence among youths in this generation is alarming. I make bold to say that the entertainment industry has done more harm than good to our teenagers as most music, videos, movies, magazines now show us that sex is the ultimate in life. Most movies now show to us that you can meet a man today and have sex with him immediately and that sex with anyone anywhere is okay. Someone you previously know practically nothing about. Does that make sense?Teenagers think that they are just being entertained, but the truth is that they are being educated wrongly. Virtually all our television programs now dedicate so much airtime telling us that if you are a teenager and not having sex, you are either homosexual or old fashion. This is misleading. The caution and restraints of the previous generations are gone. Young men exploit young women and ridicule those who hold to standards of decency. So deeply, has sexual perversion become a part of our society that parents cannot trust the teachers of their children and children cannot trust other children? No wonder the Centre for Disease Control (CDC) reported that there are forty thousand new cases of sexually transmitted disease each year in America.One other disgusting act that promotes premarital sex is pornography. Five years ago, I picked up the handset of a teenager and all I could find were pictures of naked women. Today you do not need to go to the internet to watch pornography because virtually all the secular music videos from the white and recently the black musicians show to us nakedness. Tell me, how does a teenager intend to carry the picture of a naked woman in his phone as well as on his mind (the seat of imagination) and not engage in pre-marital sex or sexual molestation of other children? It is impossible because what you see determines the content of your thoughts and your thoughts influence your actionTeenagers and youths should mind the films they watch, and the music they listen to as words and images loaded with immoral values and impulses find a way into their heart. Parents too should guide their children. Say no to premarital sex. Avoid sexually transmitted disease. Avoid sudden death. Avoid unwanted pregnancy not by using condoms but by abstaining from sex. You can overcome and put your sexual urge under control. I have met so many youths who say they just cannot stop having sex. Tell me, would you still go ahead to have sex if your partner told you that he or she is HIV/AIDS positive? Definitely no! Where did that strength to say no come from? Exactly my point, you have the strength to say no to premarital sex. Say no to pre-marital sex. Live responsibly.
Adult children, who physical appear mature, but whose development was arrested because of upbringing exposure to alcoholism, para-alcoholism, dysfunction, and abuse, often try to understand and correct their plights in twelve-step recovery programs. Although they can entail long healing and reversing processes, there are times when they need to stand on a plateau during their climbs and assess their growth and improvement. This study looks at this growth from three perspectives: interrupted, personal, and spiritual.Interrupted Growth:Exposure to danger, detriment, and dysfunction thwarts the childhood development process. Subjected to trauma and parental betrayal, yet devoid of the resources or capabilities to either escape or combat his adverse circumstances, he is left with a single recourse: spiritually flee within, burying himself in a protective cocoon and placing his true or authentic self in hiding. Because fear was the last emotion generated by the situation, he pursues a life, without recovery or resolution of this inner child creation, in fear of people, places, and things, yet he usually has no understanding as to why.Like a stopped clock, trauma arrests and interrupts development. And, like having a hole that is not patched up, the person otherwise attempts to grow up around it, but never seems able to fills it and is thus unable to complete his maturation process because of it, replacing his authentic self with a false or substitute one that has been labeled “ego.”Repeated exposure to what may have constituted the original, flee-causing circumstances, abandonment, criticism, shaming, inadequate love, and poor role modeling from parents who themselves functioned from their own unresolved childhood-bred deficiencies, he can, to a degree, be compared to a plant that does not receive adequate water and sunlight. Its (and his) growth is stalled and stunted. In many ways, he remains a child on the inside.This underscores the fact that growth-necessitating aspects, when not received, hinder and interrupt this process.Adequate parental role modeling is certainly one of them.In a study about a client who suffered from this syndrome, authors Stephen A. Mitchell and Margaret J. Black in their book Freud and Beyond: A History of Modern Psychoanalytic Thought (BasicBooks, 1995, p. 215), wrote “… Paul’s fundamental problem is not that he is at (unconscious) odds with himself, but that his early development was thwarted by the absence of certain crucial parental processes that are required for psychological growth; someone to look up to, someone who enjoyed Paul’s way of being a boy, (and) someone who gave his blessing for Paul to become a man in his own right.”These conditions created both his unfulfillment as a child and his longing for it as an adult. Devoid of a masculine model, he unfavorably compared himself to macho figures who became unconscious representations of the father he needed, but never had.”In the arrested development mode, Paul’s psychological paralysis is seen not as a result of unconscious conflict, but of insufficient conditions for growth,” they conclude (ibid, p. 216). “What was missing in Paul’s developmental past is still missing in him as an adult.”The ultimate purpose of parenting is to prepare a child for adult life by providing him with safety, nurturing, confidence, and love for independent functioning. But when parents themselves lack these qualities and consequently are unable to give them, child growth falls short.Personal Growth:Forced, without choice, to enter the world in a stunted and wounded state, adult children, whose brains, through their inherent neuroplasticity, rewired themselves during their upbringings, thus brave a world they believe approximates the one in which they grew up.Considered necessary, but maladaptive survival traits that are sometimes referred to as “the laundry list,” fourteen such behavioral characteristics reflect the adult child syndrome and include, mostly unconscious to them, aspects such as fear of authority figures, isolation, loss of identity, approval seeking, distrust, victimization,, an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, shame, guilt over self-defense, the inability to distinguish pity from love, numbness, denial, harsh self-judgment, a fear of abandonment, and the propensity for triggering and reacting.Personal growth, after significant twelve-step work, can be gauged by cross-referencing actual feelings and behaviors with these characteristics.”We talk of transforming the laundry list traits into usable tools for our personal growth,” according to the Adult Children of Alcoholics textbook (World Service Organization, 2006, p. 572). “We also talk of spiritual growth, living in the moment and having fun.”Because recovery is not a linear climb without pitfalls and setbacks, and because two decades of exposure to upbringing dysfunction cannot be reversed in a short time, it is not realistic to expect to relinquish the ways that augmented an adult child’s negotiation of life overnight.”We must accept that there is a learning period in ACA,” the Adult Children of Alcoholics textbook advises (ibid, p. 426). “We can work a stellar program by going to meetings, working the steps, and helping others, but we must be patient with ourselves as we apply the program and change behavior.”Instead of expecting an idealized “complete cure,” it may be more realistic to gauge personal program growth by examining the intensity, duration, and frequency of these traits. In the case of reactions to authority figures, for instance, the recovering adult child may examine how much he understands that a present-time authority figure only serves to ignite the fear of his abusive parent and gauge if his reactions have begun to diminish when he encounters them.As unpleasant as such later-in-life interactions and incidents may be, it may actually require these “test-the-water” exposures to determine the relative clinging or relinquishing of these survival traits. Sitting in the comfort of the person’s living room and just checking off those that no longer rule or influence his life, may not necessarily be an accurate determinant of personal growth.Although there are many alternative methods of doing so, a shift in perspective may be one of them. If, for example, an adult child is criticized or one of his faults or flaws is mentioned by another, does he immediately accept what that person claims and regress to a more powerless age, or does he maintain his confidence and composure and wonder, “What is it about you that you need to point this out? What’s the payoff for you? And where’s the real deficiency here-in me or you?”Personal growth is progressive, not immediate or final.Spiritual Growth:Spiritual growth is not independent of personal growth. Indeed, the latter begins with the former when the adult child enters a recovery venue for the first time and recites the first few steps that bespeak of powerlessness, surrender, and belief that a Higher Power can reverse the effects of the body-, mind-, and soul-affecting disease that afflicts him.Since the last thing that most people will do is admit their powerlessness over their situations, walking into such a venue equally becomes the last thing they will do. Ironically, it also becomes the first thing that constitutes improvement. Doing so after reaching rock bottom, they cannot fall any lower than the floor. Therefore, the only direction left is up-or a climb of the twelve steps.Spiritual growth begins with realizing that there is a Higher Power or God, whom some, because of poor parental representations of Him or their disease, either turned away from or never originally accepted. It entails realizing that housed in the adult child physical form is the soul He created and that He is the actual parent. And that progressively connecting and communing with Him results in restoration.”In ACA, we do not need drugs to connect to a Higher Power or the Divine,” according to the Adult Children of Alcoholics textbook (ibid, p. 267). “We have all the energy centers, spiritual gifts, and cosmic powers within us. We are spiritual beings opening up to this Higher Power of the Heavens.”That “opening up” may serve as the greatest threshold to spiritual growth. God cannot be intellectualized. He must be felt, aligned with, and experienced.Like a balloon that progressively expands when filled with air, a person’s soul, over time, can expand toward and into infinity by allowing God to infuse it with His essence, His wisdom, and His love, all in preparation for its ultimate physical form release and return to its origin.”I go to God for all the tools and information I need,” according to a member share in the Adult Children of Alcoholics textbook (bid, p. 264). “God, to me, is a higher-level consciousness. Every day in prayer and meditation, I go deep within myself to a quiet place where there’s peace, love, light, hope, and joy.”Since these are all aspects of God and “deep within” is the soul that He created, there should be little wonder as to why they are the same.Article Sources:Adult Children of Alcoholics. Torrance, California: Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization, 2006.Mitchell, Stephen A., and Black, Margaret J. Freud and Beyond: A History of Modern Psychoanalytic Thought. New York: BasicBooks, 1995.